I’ve stopped pretending like everything is alrite. With my friends, it’s odd if I don’t go a week without saying I want to off myself. I don’t plan to, but life has felt so stagnant lately. I’m a glass of water sat on top of a nightstand, developing a film on the surface and through a window, a tornado can be seen from the distance.
Social media usage should not be an indicator of mental health. However, I haven’t posted to my feed for a year. I’ve done a lot this past year and none of it feels worthy of sharing to a demi-permanent, self-portrait. I got out of a relationship this year that still makes me feel sad every time I drink. I have a healthy number of good friends. I have a job. I have support from family. And I ask myself every day, “what am I living for,” because lately it hasn’t felt like it’s been for myself.
An inactive science fair volcano left behind in a school gym during a fire drill with no real reason for return.
JOHNNY PEGUERO 